http://yoga-vickie.com/blog/ Insights into yoga en Copyright 2012 Thu, 22 Jan 2009 17:18:00 -0800 http://www.sixapart.com/movabletype/?v=3.2ysb5-20051201 http://blogs.law.harvard.edu/tech/rss I feel awful. I wake up with such sorrow, again, and I'm not sure I understand exactly why. It's a beautiful 70 degree Saturday in January. I am driving to teach a yoga class in Berkeley, sun roof open, music shouting loudly. But, I feel so low, so down. What will I say to the class, how can I be inspirational? I decide to turn off the radio to get quiet and to see if I can determine what is going on. I am on Highway 24 looking at an awesome view of the San Francisco bay and skyline. What is there to feel so disquieted about? As I deepen my breath and come into my base, I realize that I am feeling incredibly disappointed. As a matter of fact, I have adorned myself in disappointment. I have put it on as if it were a fancy dress. It is so close to my skin that I have literally become disappointment. I am looking out through disappointment's eyes and moving my arms around in it's sleeves. This is not the way my life was supposed to be! Amorphous letdown. Now what? I steel myself to try to bring in some helpful philosophy. WWPCD? What Would Pema Chodron Do?? I sit quietly and hold my cupped, receptive hands out in front of me (once I've parked the car, of course), and I ask myself am I willing to take off the disappointment? Am I willing to make myself naked, to take off the disappointment, and then carefully hold it in my hands? Can I hold disappointment as I would hold something precious, and simply observe it? I envisioned a snow globe (where did that come from? I'm not a snow globe kind of a girl?) But, a snow globe is delicate and you can affect it, and change it and then observe the changes. You can hold it delicately in your hands, separate from yourself and really look at it, without judgement. So, I began to observe my disappointment without evaluation, and very quickly, so much about my present behavior started to make sense. I had been living from disappointment (please feel free to insert the emotion of your choice--anger, sorrow, grief, anticipation etc.) I realize that I am angry at myself for the state of my life. And I begin to feel compassion as I hold the anger and disappointment in my hands and observe. I don't feel sorry for myself, but I do feel empathy. I get it. I've stepped back, gotten perspective and I feel sweet and kind. I feel kindness for my life and my situation. I feel my breath; I feel relaxed. The ability to step back and take space is so invaluable. and takes a level of inner awareness that doesn't come overnight, but is available to all of us if we are willing to wake up. That's why we practice yoga. http://yoga-vickie.com/blog/2009/01/wearing_my_disappointment.html http://yoga-vickie.com/blog/2009/01/wearing_my_disappointment.html Thu, 22 Jan 2009 17:18:00 -0800 I talk a lot about saying your truth, about how important it is. And obviously you have to know your truth in order to say it. Sometimes that's the really hard part. Knowing who you are and what you want or need. And then there is this really interesting part that happens when you get to that place. It's like, "Wow, I really do know what I need," and that's where expectation settles in. I had this feeling that when I spoke my truth, everything would fall into place. That the people around me would say, "look at her, she really knows what she wants," and that somehow things would get easier. I thought that authenticity would MAKE things easier. But life is still life and the people around us are still just the people around us. And the sticky spots don't just disappear. At first, it really made me angry! I thought, "Wait! No fair, this shouldn't be hard--I'm telling my truth." But sometimes the rewards are not so quickly won. And even when we know ourselves and are being authentic, the rug can get pulled out from underneath us. And that's when we have the opportunity to practice what we learn in yoga; to be present with ourselves. To be intimate with our emotions: frustration, fear, anxiety, anger. We notice the feelings and sit with what is. We try not to make choices from these emotional places, and realize that they are just that: places, moments in time. And then we tell the truth all over again, to ourselves and to the folks around us. PRACTICE: This week do an easy awareness practice. Ask yourself, "Am I still breathing?" You will have to stop and become present to know the answer to this easy question. Pick one yoga pose that you enjoy, and be fully engaged with it. Notice the sensations that appear from the ground up and check in with your breath. If you find your mind wandering, say "thinking" and come fully back to the task at hand. Practice being present. This is the path to unearthing your Truth. http://yoga-vickie.com/blog/2008/06/truth.html http://yoga-vickie.com/blog/2008/06/truth.html Tue, 03 Jun 2008 18:02:06 -0800 This is my first quick posting, and I haven't even left yet. I am very excited and very anxious about my upcoming trip. Have you noticed that excitement and anxiety have the same frequency energetically? We typically view excitement as positive and anxiety as negative, though. It is very interesting to watch my mind at this moment, as it tries to chew on what to do with fear. Should I feel the fear and run from it or should I feel the fear and walk right into it? I am trying the second choice, but it's really amazing to watch how powerful and overwhelming fear can be. So, I'm buzzing off, me and my excitement and anxiety. One thing that I know for sure is that it will all feel different (although I don't know in what way) when I get to Brazil! Tchau! http://yoga-vickie.com/blog/2008/05/what_does_fear_look_like.html http://yoga-vickie.com/blog/2008/05/what_does_fear_look_like.html Mon, 19 May 2008 15:47:59 -0800